In about three hours I’m off for our annual ladies weekend. I’m attending the abridged version (basically 24 hours away) because of a nursing child, but it means I can leave her behind. I’ve pumped eight bottles over the last two weeks and I’m just crossing my fingers that everything goes well for Greg. Gramma is here too, so that will help. Plus she’s shovelling back the food nowadays, so she won’t starve.
I’ll report on my getaway tomorrow evening.
From the Dalzells’ blog, via a couple of other blogs. (Thanks for the content idea, Erin, I was struggling tonight!)
Looks like I’ve got some work to do, although if I authored the list, it’d be a bit different…hmmm, maybe that’s another idea for content. 🙂
This morning I was on Douglas street, going northbound, waiting at a red light at the Hillside intersection. The light went green, and I went. Some idiot coming up Government (on my left) decided to either run the red or didn’t see that his light was red, and he almost t-boned me. Thankfully he wasn’t going very fast and he was able to stop. I would have been a sitting duck, and Amy was in the car as well, on the same side of the car as me.
Shook me up a bit.
Both kids are asleep (or quiet, anyway) as of ten minutes ago. The question I always ask myself at this point is, do I nap? Usually the answer is yes. I love napping, and have my whole adult life. But now that I have much less time to myself, I have started to question whether I’d get more enjoyment out of being awake without kids for a little while. And often when I nap when the kids are napping, I’m wakened by Amy since she usually only sleeps for 30 to 45 minutes. That sucks, because part of a really good nap is to wake up on MY time, not someone else’s.
Yes, I’m a bit tired, but I’m not sleep-deprived. Amy wakes up anywhere from two to four times a night, but she’s back to sleep within ten minutes, and I can usually fall back asleep quickly as well. And my wonderful husband gets up with her almost every day, so I get to sleep at least until 7:00, usually later.
So today when I was on my way upstairs to have a nap, I turned around at the top of the stairs and decided against it. I will probably use the time to clean up the kitchen, but even that is enjoyable, as I feel like I’m accomplishing something. Maybe this is the start of a new trend.
And, for the record, in regards to my post yesterday, I AM still in my pajamas. Elliot is sort of in his pj’s (comfy pants and a shirt), and the only reason Amy’s out of hers is she was wet this morning. I did brush my teeth, though.
I’m tired of wearing clothing I don’t like, or that doesn’t fit me properly. Pants aren’t a problem as I just got a couple of new pairs of jeans I like, but tops are. So I just did a major purge of my closet contents. Biggest one ever. Not sure if it was a good idea or not, as there isn’t a lot left, and I’m not exactly in a good position financially to get more clothes.
Going topless isn’t really an option, so I guess I’ll have to make do with what I have for a bit.
Thought it was worth noting that I’m not wearing maternity pants today. AND I needed a belt. It’s nice to have some more options in my wardrobe.
I’ve got all sorts of thoughts and emotions running around in my head as a result of Amy’s arrival, and I’m hoping to get at least some of them down here over the next few days.
One of the things I am looking forward to with Amy is not having to adjust from a life without children to a life with children. It took a long time — longer than I thought it would — for me to make this adjustment when Elliot arrived. I know there will be lots of other adjustments, but at least I’ve already plunged into a child-filled world. I have some idea of what to expect, and I have some idea of how much less time I’ll have for me.
But something I wasn’t expecting is a feeling of sadness that has accompanied Amy’s birth. Part of it is hormones, part of it is feeling sad about the end of my pregnancy, knowing it was my last one, but I think the majority of the sadness comes from the realization that Greg, Elliot and I have reached the end of the road as a threesome. We have had a lot of fun over the past two years, and I say goodbye to that threesome with regret.
Thankfully the regret is coupled with a whole lot of anticipation for what’s in store for us as a foursome.
Yesterday morning I was in the shower struggling to wash my lower legs and feet without falling over and without squishing Beet too much, and I decided enough was enough. For the next five weeks, I’m not washing my feet. I figure enough soapy residue hits them, I’ll be clean enough.
Some other things that would be nice to stop doing over the next five weeks, but not really feasible:
– No more socks
– No more shoes
– No more work clothes
– No more peeing (okay, not as frequent peeing)
– No more carrying Elliot
With the exception of an ACL tear when I was 17, my body has never failed me. Sure, I get sick, but I’ve always felt quite healthy, and I’ve always felt like I could depend on my physical and mental health.
I’m feeling a little less sure of that now. The anxiety I’ve been feeling has continued to rear its ugly head, although I think it’s a little less frequent. But it scares me, because as of yet there is no explanation for it. And I’ve started to dread going to bed…me who normally LOVES to sleep.
Then on Monday I found out that Beet has an irregular heartbeat. I’ve been for two non-stress tests and an ultrasound this week. The non-stress tests just confirmed the arrhythmia (and that Beet doesn’t appear to be in distress), and I haven’t got the ultrasound results yet. My doctor has tried to assure me that it’s probably nothing, and that it’ll probably resolve itself over time. But it’s hard not to worry.
It doesn’t help that with the exception of the actual birth, my pregnancy with Elliot was pretty much complication-free. I think it led to high expectations this time around.
So my body isn’t exactly failing me…Beet is probably fine, and my anxiety is hopefully just hormonal and will go away soon, but I just don’t like what’s been going on. I feel on edge. And I want to be able to sleep!
The last couple of nights I’ve managed to avoid the anxiety that I’ve been experiencing. I have no idea why…maybe I just got tired enough. Or maybe it was the tulips that my kind friend left at my door.
Two nights ago I still had a crappy sleep because I couldn’t sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time, but it was nice to feel a bit more relaxed. Then last night I got a couple of two-hour chunks in and a three-hour chunk. It was great.
I still have a sore throat and a bit of a cough, but it seems everyone who’s been getting this cold has it for weeks, so I’m not surprised. I can deal with those symptoms, as long as I continue to sleep better.