if i had a blog…

No time to put anything coherent together (see my last post).

I want to write about my kids. I want to write a post about each of them and describe how they are right now. I did so much blogging when they were younger and I love reading old posts. There’s so much about them that I haven’t written down that I don’t want to forget. Perhaps I can take two evenings before the end of November and find the time to put something together. I think what stops me is I’ll never get everything.

Elliot was a weenie tonight between picking him up and going to swimming. I can’t even really explain what he was doing, but weenie seems like a good word to describe it. Our children are often golden when they are apart, but the energy of them together, at the end of the day, can be awful. Sometimes I feel like I am barely in control, and it’s not a nice feeling. And I only have two!

On the other hand, I had a really shitty day at work on Tuesday, and as I was driving to pick up the kids I was dreading switching to mum-mode. When I’m really upset about something I find it really hard to put it aside and be a parent. I picked Elliot up first and as soon as he saw me he gave me a hug. Often he ignores me for a bit, so that was a good start. In the car he took a cookie out from his lunch and announced he was going to share it with Amy, which he did. Then on the way home Amy announced she wanted to open the front door (we have a combination lock that they both enjoy using). They often get upset over who opens it, so I took a deep breath and said I didn’t care who opened the door, as long as they didn’t fight about it. When we got home, Amy graciously offered to let Elliot open the door, which he did. We got in the house and they did all their jobs without me asking. They were golden. And later I thanked them both for being so co-operative and cheerful on a day that I really needed it.

It’s not all bad. 🙂

I missed yesterday. That means two posts for today. It’s 10:15 pm and I’d rather go read my book. Seriously considered just bailing on this whole thing and doing just that. Instead, I’m going to fire off two posts in under 15 minutes and then I’m going to read my book.

Tonight I learned how to make temari balls. They are traditionally used as actual balls, but I’m making them as Christmas ornaments. Well I say “them” but we’ll see how many I get done. It’s the kind of craft you can do in front of the TV, which is my kind of craft. It’s a bit finicky getting all the measurements, and I’ve long since realized I’m not a perfectionist when it comes to crafts, so we’ll see how mine turn out.

So far this year I’ve committed (to myself, mostly) to make six calendars and some number of temari balls, and send out Christmas cards. I think the last one might fall of the list. They seemed like a good idea when I bought the cards at Costco in September, but they’ll wait until next year.

Oh, to have more time…

Had a great day today. I got up not-too-early and got our menu plan done. A job I don’t really enjoy but it keeps Greg and I married. Then headed to work for a few hours. It being a stat holiday and all, I got to park right outside my office, which felt like a real treat. I also was the only one there, so I got some peace and quiet as well.

I worked for about three hours and then did a bit of shopping. Picked up a couple of articles of clothing for me and then did a bit of Christmas shopping. Greg and I are trying to start earlier than usual, partly to spread out the cost and partly to reduce the stress of December. I am quite enjoying it because I’m finding I’m spending a bit more time thinking about things I want to buy.

Greg and the kids took the bus into town and we met for a late lunch at Pig. This involved a walk from Government up to Blanshard. Now that Amy is a bit more dependable on busy streets, I’ve discovered that I love walking around downtown with the kids. There’s lots to see and the kids always seem to enjoy it as well.

After lunch we went to The Bay Centre and rode the glass elevator. Up and down six times. Greg and I spelled each other off, so we only had to do it three times each. When I’m on it, the kids are pressed as close as they can get to the outer glass wall, looking up and down, and I’m pressed as far as I can get away from the glass wall, looking anywhere but down. Amy and Elliot have no idea that I’m scared of heights and I’m surprised they haven’t noticed.

I took a quick look (unsuccessfully) for a Christmas party dress, made a stop at the toy store for a Christmas puzzle and a gift, and then we piled back in the car to go grocery shopping. Another task that is not my favourite, but we split the list and were done fairly quickly. We also split the kids which made things much more pleasurable.

Home for a quick stop to make some soup and walk the dog, then off to hockey for the boys. Amy and I got dropped off at a friend’s near the rink and we spent a couple of hours hanging out in front of their fire, playing Polly Pockets, catching up and eating pizza. Very cozy.

Bedtime was a bit bumpy for Elliot but everyone made it through in one piece. Greg and I watched an episode of Mad Men and now we’re going to do a bit of reading/blogging/iPad-ing before heading to bed.

It was a great day because I felt like I got a lot done and I spent lots of quality time with my kids and my hubby — time that was spent both doing things for them and doing stuff we had to do without any complaining from them. Or not much, anyway!

Well I blew through Catching Fire and have already downloaded Mockingjay. I am not starting it tonight because that’s sure to mean another late night — I was up until midnight last night with Catching Fire. This is the problem with an entertaining book. I cannot put it down. But it’s sure nice to have the time to read a book in two days! It doesn’t happen very often.

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I did the Thetis Lake Relay today, an annual relay run put on by the Harriers Running Club. It’s a competitive race and as usual I think we came last in our age group, but I can’t compete with people who run a sub 20 minute 5 km. That’s not human. I ran with my neighbour, who I’ve been running with for the past year, and two of her friends. We went out for a drink and some appies afterward and it was a really enjoyable few hours, despite the rain. It was nice to meet some new people and the conversation flowed easily.

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I have recurring nightmares about cougars and grizzly bears. They don’t recur very often, but I had a grizzly bear visit last night. We were at a house that was on a lake, and Heart was with us. From what I remember, a bunch of dogs were playing at the lakeshore with a grizzly cub, and the mother bear came and attacked Heart. The only thing that I vividly remember is seeing her lying there, her face bloody and her back leg torn off. It’s probably stupid to being writing this down, as it’s going to forever cement it in my head. I woke up in sheer terror. Being in a strange room that is darker than my own room did not help, and I had to remind myself we were at my sister’s cabin. I don’t ever remember being that scared.

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Really enjoying reading http://julia.typepad.com/julia/. She’s doing NaBloPoMo as well. I’ve been reading her blog for a few months now, and as with her other readers, I’m thoroughly enjoying the daily posts this month. She writes with humour and heart, and reading her posts makes me want to meet her and her family.

We are sitting in my sister’s Salt Spring cabin. The fire is lit, we’ve had a cup of tea, the view is amazing and the kids are (so far) playing together quite contentedly. We’ve bought our groceries and the only things we have left to do are relax, eat dinner, put the kids to bed and relax a little more. Very nice. 

We came over this morning, took the dog for a walk at Duck Creek Park, and then the kids and I played in the Ganges playground while Greg shopped for supplies. We had to deal with a fair amount of whining from Amy, but the morning was still nice. 

I’m really enjoying going for walks with the kids these days. Elliot rarely complains and Amy has had a few walks now where she hasn’t once asked to be picked up. Today’s walk was preceded by a lot of “I don’t like Duck Creek” from Amy but as soon as we started her mood improved greatly (how could it not, on this gorgeous day?) and we all had a great time. In the car afterward she announced that she loved Duck Creek. Thankfully Greg and I often see the humour in her mood swings. 

So, back to my relaxing…

I own an iPad and I use it on average about 30 minutes a month, if that. It’s Greg’s old one and we debated selling it but decided to keep it at least for the kids, and maybe some day I’d find some use for it. I brought it to Saudi with me and didn’t open it until my flight home, to watch a movie. So much for finding it useful. I’ve also used it for a couple of recipes, but again, not very often. No real regrets on keeping it because the kids love it and it was already paid for.

Now, the other side of this story is that I haven’t tried reading a book on an electronic device, ever. Mostly because, well I think I’ve already explained it. I don’t use my iPad, and reading a book on my phone is a headache waiting to happen. Plus I love books. Real, paper books.

So, to tie these two threads together…tonight we were packing for a quick getaway to Salt Spring and Greg mentioned he’d bring his computer over so we could watch a movie. I decided I’d rather read while we’re over there. There’s a wood stove, and the idea of curling up with a good book in front of a fire really appeals to me at this time of year. Greg was fine with this, but I had a problem. No book. I looked at the iPad sitting there and thought, why not?

After the two Computer Scientists in the house struggled for about ten minutes trying to figure out how the f*** to download a book from amazon.ca to my iPad, we stumbled across amazon.com/kindlestore (WHY there is no link to this URL from their .ca site is a mystery to me). In 30 seconds flat I had downloaded a copy of Catching Fire. Woah. That was way too easy. We’ll see how the reading experience goes, but I may have to start exercising my ownership rights on my iPad. That and put myself on a Kindle book budget.

A few months ago I was at the dentist for a routine cleaning and the hygienist commented about my crooked bottom teeth. This has come up periodically over the past few years (I’ve been seeing the same dentist since 1990), but always framed as an aesthetic problem. I once again said that it didn’t bother me, and that was the end of the conversation.

When it came time for the dentist to check me, the hygienist mentioned she’d brought the issue up and that I was happy with how things were. The next thing I know, the dentist lists all the things that will go wrong with my teeth if I don’t get them fixed. I was totally taken aback and was somewhat speechless. He gave me three options: to invest in Invisalign braces ($5000-$7000 range); to invest in another kind of braces ($2000-$3000 range), or two get two retainers ($100). Options one and two would fix the issue, option three would just keep things at the status quo and make sure things didn’t get any worse.

I left saying I’d think about, and was feeling a bit shocked that this had come up so suddenly. I then looked into my employer’s extended health plan and found out I have zero orthodontic coverage. That immediately took options one and two off the table for me. There are many things I’d rather spend a few thousand dollars on.

Time went by, and I thought about it off and on, and I realized that the dentist had been right about one thing — my teeth have got more crooked over the years. I now have one tooth that is completely out of alignment. Not sure if I believe the rest of the things he said (my bite would start to suffer, my top teeth would start to get affected…), but I did come to the realization that at some point, my crooked teeth would bother me from an aesthetic perspective.

So I decided to go with the retainer option. I picked them up on Wednesday. I have two, and I alternate wearing them each night. So if you do the math there, I’ve worn the bottom one once and the top one once. And I’m now feeling this is all a ploy to get me to eventually go with the Invisalign option. Because wearing them kind of sucks! The top one feels pretty tight, and it’s hard not to notice it’s there. The bottom one doesn’t feel as tight, but it makes me feel like I’m going to gag because there’s foreign matter in the back of my throat.

I know it’s early on and I will give it a fighting chance, but the whole thing has come up rather unexpectedly and I’m not sure where it’s going to end. I may just start saving!

And for those of you who are paying attention, just pretend I posted this on November 8th.

Two years ago I wrote a post about bringing Heart home. It was an emotional weekend because she reminded me so much of Yoshi.

Now here we are, two years later, and she’s very much a part of our lives. I still think of Yoshi often. I’ve had a couple of friends lose dogs over the past year and it’s reminded me of how painful it was and how much I do still miss him. But Heart has definitely helped fill the void.

She’s also come with her own set of issues, as Yoshi did. And I’m the first to admit that I put absolutely no effort into training my dog, so I can’t complain too much. But she’s a chewer like he was, and the list of things she has destroyed is lengthy, despite our best efforts to dog proof. She can open bins herself and she’s able to pull out a wicker basket that is pushed fully under a table with little clearance.

She also likes to look out windows, and we have a cedar chest right under our dining room window that she loves to jump on to get a good view of the back yard. The poor chest is now covered in scratches, despite having a protective blanket on top.

She also goes absolutely ape shit if she’s left inside while we are outside in the yard. To the point that we just give in and bring her outside. Like I said…little effort spent on training dogs in this household.

So all this, plus a couple of other issues, have made me decide to try to crate train her. It’s been a long process. We agreed we’d do it, so we got our big crate back from my Mum. Then it sat in the carport for months getting dirty. We cleaned it, and it sat longer in the carport. I brought it inside and it remained in our dining room, in two pieces, for weeks. (Greg and I have perfected procrastination.) I finally put it together about six weeks ago and we’ve been slowly getting her used to it. We started by feeding her in it, and then we’d leave her in it for a few minutes while we were still in the room. The training was already going well, and then Greg got a nice cushy bed for it. Now the crate is one of her favourite places to be. She’s been in it, locked up, for up to an hour without any fuss, with the rest of us on various locations in the house. She has slept in it, unlocked, overnight. She often just goes and lays in it (like now). We haven’t yet left her in it while we’re not in the house, but I’m hoping to start that soon (and my bubble might just burst when we do that, but I’m hopeful it won’t).

If this does work, it’s going to be a whole lot easier on all of us. There have been vet bills as a result of her ingesting things, we’ve had to replace things she’s destroyed (like three pairs of my sunglasses), and dog proofing the house is frankly a pain in the ass. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

But even if the crate training doesn’t work, even with all her issues, I’m still thankful that we got her. I cannot imagine life without a dog.

Tonight, after reading to the kids for 45 minutes (longer than usual, and they should know that and be thankful and BEHAVE), I said we were done and it was bedtime. Both kids asked to be carried to bed (we read books on Greg’s and my bed because there’s lots of room = less fighting). That’s fine, I often indulge this, as I know one day I’ll miss the days they wanted to be carried.

Anyway…to backtrack a bit, Amy had come to bed with three cars. Both of my children know whose cars they are, but I have no idea. At some point during story time all three of them ended up parked on me. Some time later during story time all three were gone. When I finished up and said it was bedtime, all hell broke loose. Amy now had two cars, Elliot had one, and Amy demanded that Elliot give the car back. Elliot walked away, car in hand. I had no patience (probably due to the fact that I hadn’t had dinner and it was now 8:30) and so I dealt with it by walking away. As you can imagine, that went over well. Actually, Elliot probably didn’t notice and Amy got quite upset. Now she was upset with me and Elliot.

I told them to work it out and I’d come tuck them in when they were done. Smart move, leaving your two tired kids to work it out on their own. I came downstairs, saw Elliot go back into the bedroom where Amy was, and then I heard a loud smack. Amy had whacked Elliot. Truthfully I felt he kind of deserved it because he was being a weenie, so I didn’t have a whole lot of sympathy. But I stomped back upstairs and demanded all three cars. Amy being Amy gave hers up right away and Elliot said (repeatedly) that he didn’t have the other one. I said (repeatedly) that I didn’t care where it was, but he needed to go and get it.

I don’t remember what happened then. It doesn’t matter. Sometimes I can sail through these times without losing my cool, and sometimes I get so angry I can’t think straight. The end result was two kids climbing into bed crying, each of them asking for something, and I was so mad I told them both I didn’t feel like doing anything for them right then.

After a few minutes I went into Elliot’s room to talk to him, and when I told him he should have given the car back to Amy, his response was “well she didn’t say please”. This kid has an attitude already. And my gut reaction is to argue with him. Which is pointless. But when I disengage (which really is the more adult thing to do) it doesn’t seem to do anything.

There’s no real point to this post…I think I decided to write it because I knew I’d be able to get it out quickly, and I want to go to bed and end this day. There’s so much I could say about parenting and the struggles I’m having with Elliot, his temper, his meltdowns, my immature need to argue back to him because I know I’m right…but perhaps not the ideal way to end my day.

Instead I’ll go and look at them both sleeping peacefully and know that tomorrow is a new day.