if i had a blog…

Written on Nov 22, almost half way through my trip.
——————————–
Well, today I peed in a hole in the ground, so I can cross that one off my bucket list. Most of the Ministry bathrooms have conventional toilets, but Tracy had me try the one that was the traditional hole. It was a bit tricky with the abaya, but I managed. In general I’m a bit mortified at the state of women’s bathrooms. They seem clean, but they all have a strange smell, there is rarely toilet paper, and rarely paper towel. If you’re lucky there will be a kleenex box, which is an okay substitute for toilet paper, but not for paper towel. Oh, and the permanent sign on the IBM washroom has a misprint, and it’s labelled “Ladles bathroom”, with an ‘l’ instead of an ‘i’.

Speaking of kleenex, I’ve never seen so many boxes of kleenex. At restaurants, instead of napkins, there is kleenex. When you have a meeting, people will bring in bottles of water, tea and boxes of kleenex. It’s everywhere.

Today was busy. We had a workshop this morning demo-ing part of the system to some family doctors and public health practitioners. My job was to take notes, and one third of the meeting happened in Arabic. I only know how to say thank you, so that was a bit difficult. Then the higher-ups had a whole bunch of meetings so I went to the ladies section of IBM and worked on my own for a bit. It’s very anti-social, being a women here. At least in a professional sense.

We are heading to Jeddah tomorrow evening for the weekend (work week is Saturday to Wednesday here). We are staying in the Sheraton Resort there, and we can wear whatever we want while at the resort. I must say, the abaya gets a bit cumbersome. And I don’t know why I bother doing anything to my hair, as wearing a headscarf even just for five minutes flattens it.

It was very cool today — about 15 degrees, and it even rained a tiny bit. I just looked at the forecast and there are cooler temperatures forecast for a few days. But Jeddah will be high 20’s, so that’s good. Apparently the Red Sea is about 30 degrees celsius. I can’t even imagine that! I am planning to go snorkelling.

It’s really quite amazing, this experience. I’m thankful that it’s turning out okay for me, thankful that Greg seems to be managing with the kids, and thankful that I was given this opportunity.

I’m off to read for a bit before bed. I’m skyping with the kids and Greg tomorrow morning so I’ll have a nice start to my day.

I appear to have done a lot more letter writing than blog post writing while I was away. The following is part of a letter I wrote on November 21.
——————————–
I’ve talked about the driving here…well coupled with that is crossing the street. It’s like a game of Frogger. Even if you have a walk signal, you have to be 100% aware of your surroundings, because people do u-turns ALL the time. And not only do they do u-turns, but it seems normal to do a u-turn from the right lane, i.e. so you’re cutting off all the cars in the lanes to your left. I’ve decided that the driving here is a bit like a dance, with constant honking as music. And drivers (all men…it’s illegal for women to drive) don’t honk for the same reasons we do. It’s more of a “I’m right here, right behind you, two inches away from you” kind of honk. And no one gets visibly mad (it’s illegal to flip the bird). I say dance because you’ve got cars changing lanes, making unexpected turns, stopping, all without signal lights and all within inches of each other, and no one seems to crash. It’s quite amazing, really.

My eating experiences have been quite varied…from really bad Western fast food to an amazing meal tonight at a Lebanese restaurant — we had the meat grill and an appy platter. The appy platter had humous, tabuleh, an egg plant salsa that I don’t know the name of, grape leaves, tzatziki, tahini and a couple of other things I didn’t recognize. We ordered the meat grill “for three” and I think there were 15 skewers served to us — way too much food. In general I find the servings very large, and the food’s pretty cheap (apart from the hotel). There are a lot of kabobs, delicious humous everywhere, and
good bread. A couple of nights ago we went to an Indian place that had the best naan bread I’ve ever had. All the restaurants have a men’s section (no women allowed) and a family section (no single men allowed), always with separate entrances. Even Starbucks has separate entrances. The family section is also the non-smoking section, thank goodness. The fast food joints have two line ups, one for women, one for men.
——————————–
It’s hard to believe that I’ve only been home for a week. It all feels like a long time ago. This trip was such a big deal for me, and it’s already fading in my memory.

Another excerpt from a letter to my family, written on Nov 20.
——————————–
I’m writing this from the 23rd floor of the Kingdom Centre. I’m in the “women’s only” section (no men allowed).

Last night we ate at a really good Indian place, although I have to admit my appetite isn’t what it usually is. The food’s pretty cheap, especially outside of the hotel.

I’m struck by the state of disarray the city seems to be in — it’s like it’s in a perpetual state of renovation. The ministry building is brand new, all marble, but there is renovation garbage everywhere. And the restaurant we were in last night had this beautiful entrance and a beautiful lit ceiling, and then these really run-down dividers separating the tables.

Driving continues to be a thrilling experience. I’m inclined to take a movie from inside the car as we’re driving just to show you all how close the cars come to each other…but that would probably freak Mum out. 🙂 Car accidents are the leading cause of death in the city. (Sorry, Mum.) But I have yet to see a car that’s smashed up. They all look to be in one piece.
——————————–

The following was written on Day 4 of my trip, describing Day 3.
——————————–
The Saudi work week is Saturday to Wednesday, so yesterday was my first work day. I was a bit nervous, but I knew I’d just be following my Canadian co-workers around, so it wasn’t concerning me too much. We went to the Ministry of Health building, which is a brand new building with lots of marble and white. The room we were in was the brightest room I’ve ever been in (bright with fluorescent lighting), and I felt like I was going to be interrogated at any moment. I have no pictures of the building because it’s illegal to take pictures of government buildings.

I got my first taste of the Saudi work culture as people came and went as they pleased, didn’t show up for meetings, answered cell phones, etc. It’s par for the course. Internet connectivity was an issue (has been ever since this project started) and so I didn’t get much work done while at the office. Tracy and I eventually bailed and went back to the hotel to work, as we knew we’d be able to access the internet from there.

I’ve got so much to say and I don’t know how to organize it…so I think I’ll just spew out things…

I can’t say I’m feeling culture shock as I just get little snippets here and there, but some of the actual snippets are shocking. Such as the HIV posters at the Ministry. A picture of a beautiful Arab boy, with the quote “I got my brown eyes from my father, my curly hair from my aunt, and HIV from my mother”. And the fact that I’m writing this from the Saudi IBM office in the “women’s only” section, where men are not allowed. There are about 40 men working here and I’ve seen only three women.

I’ve noticed a vast difference in the way men interact with women, and I’m not sure if it’s class related or not. Some men are openly friendly and joking, others won’t even look you in the eye. I don’t actually think it’s class related because I’ve seen the range even amongst the cab drivers.

I’m sleeping horribly and having terrible nightmares. Last night was the worst sleep-wise — I was up at 2:00 wide, wide awake. I eventually got up to work but after an IM conversation with Greg he convinced me to go back to bed. So I was up from about 2:00 to 4:30. No wonder I feel like shit right now.

I’ll end this here and get back to work — I’m writing this from the Saudi IBM office, which is on the 23rd flour of the Kingdom Centre. In general I find Riyadh a bit ugly, but the view from here is pretty amazing.

The following is an excerpt of a letter I wrote to my family the day after I arrived in Riyadh.
——————————–
We arrived in Frankfurt at around 8 am local time, and I was feeling okay. We had a quick stopover so there was just time for a shower and a quick snack, and then it was on to Riyadh. We again had lots of room so I was able to actually lie down. Unfortunately I had two glasses of wine right before I did this (but no drugs this time) and when I woke up I felt totally hung over. The whole flight is a bit of a blur so I think I slept for quite a bit of it. We arrived in Riyadh at 5:30 pm local time, and I felt like I was in a total time warp.

The hotel is okay although I have a room on the street side, which is very loud. Tracy’s right across the hall from me and her room overlooks the pool and the courtyard. And it’s much quieter. There was one room available that had a partial view of the pool but it was on the corner and you could still hear the street a bit. I could keep asking for a new room, but I’ve unpacked and I think I’ve decided to just stay put. The noise is in a way comforting and I do have ear plugs.

There’s a high-end mall attached to the hotel, and we went there last night for a little walk and a not-very-good food court dinner. Last night (Thursday) was Saudi’s Saturday night (the work week is Sunday to Wednesday). And apparently the mall is a popular thing to do for families. The food court was pretty busy. I was struck that as a toddler losing your mother, it would be difficult to find your mother again, as every woman is dressed in black and many have their faces covered too. You’d have to be really familiar with shoes!

I slept quite well last night — woke up at about 2:30 feeling a bit too awake so took half and Ativan and that seemed to do the trick. I also napped for about an hour this afternoon. We’ll see how tonight goes. Tracy says she finds nights two and three the hardest.

Today Tracy and I went to another hotel and played golf (!). The idea being we could get some sun and help our bodies adjust to the time difference, but also we don’t have to wear our abayas on the course. Bizarre rules in my opinion. We did have to be in long pants and long sleeved shirt, but it was nice to be outside without being covered in black. I’m so glad I’m travelling with Tracy because she’s been here so many times. I just do what she does. We don’t have to cover our heads when we’re in the hotel, but we do when we’re in the mall. Women are not allowed in the hotel pool or gym — which I knew about but it’s a real bummer.

The weather’s quite gorgeous — low thirties. The sky today was apparently a lot bluer than normal. Usually it’s so sandy it looks brown. All the architecture is the same colour — the colour of sand. And it was funny seeing the dirt at the golf course. A lot lighter than our dirt!
——————————–
The weather didn’t stay nice. The first week was great, but the second week was mostly rainy and much cooler — about 5 or 6 degrees at night and 12 to 15 degrees during the day. I was cold, as I’d packed no jacket. And the hotel room had no heat. I turned the a/c all the way off and wore my hoody. Brrr!

Tonight’s post will take you back in time to two weeks ago, when I left for Saudi. The following was written during my trek from Victoria to Riyadh, over a two-day period.
——————————–
November 16th, 5:30 pm Calgary time
I’m writing this two and a half hours into my nine and a half hour flight to Frankfurt. So far so good. We had a four hour layover in Calgary that was spent in one of the lounges. The perks of traveling with people who fly a lot. Tracy and I have four seats for the two of us, and Marty managed to upgrade to business class.

I’ve been offered free booze three times already, but have turned it down. I took an Ativan about half an hour ago and I don’t want to be totally out of it. Perhaps on the way home I’ll go the booze route instead of the drugs route.

I have a very warped sense of time right now. No big surprise as it’s 5:00 pm PST, I’ve already finished dinner, and I’m about to see if I can get comfortable enough to sleep.

I’m hoping Greg got on his ferry okay for his concert, and I’m hoping the kids are doing okay with Gramma.

Now that the trip has started I’m more excited than anxious. Imagining being on a plane is much scarier than actually being on a plane. Perhaps that’s the Ativan kicking in.

I seem to have brought some worries with me from home. They are inconsequential in the big scheme of things and I wish I could have just left them there. Maybe as I get further away they will be dropped.

That’s all for now. I’m going to try to get comfortable, read a little and then sleep.

3 hours later (8:30 pm Calgary time)
I’m tired, I have drugged myself and I can’t sleep. Maybe I should have had a drink.  I was able to get fairly comfortable, so I don’t think that was the problem. Perhaps the problem is that it’s only 7:30 pm PST. A good three hours before my bedtime. No idea what time it is where I am because I have no idea where I am right now. It’s pitch black outside.

Two hours later (10:30 pm Calgary time)
The couple in front of us is travelling with a toddler and an infant. Reminds me of our trip to NZ. Travelling is certainly easier without the dependents!

According to the map I just saw, we are approaching the UK. Which means I just flew over the Atlantic Ocean! I think we’ve got about two hours left. I’ve given up on sleep and certainly not too impressed with the Ativan. Although I don’t feel anxious, so that’s a good thing.

11:15 pm Calgary time
I’d say the flight was going well up until 15 minutes ago. I just ate breakfast and now I feel like shit. Hot, tired, a bit nauseous and ready to get off this plane. I still have over an hour. Seems like a long time from now.

10:15 am Frankfurt time (about three hours later)
I’m in Frankfurt! In the last three hours we landed, disembarked, had a shower, had a quick snack, boarded a bus and now I’m on a plane to Saudi. I’m in a total time warp. It’s morning and I never had my night (nor any sleep!). The flight to Riyadh is about five and a half hours. I think it’ll be about 5:30 pm local time when we land. A bed will feel good tonight!
——————————–
Back to the present…I again slept quite well last night, but I woke up feeling like someone had run over me. Going to Saudi the only symptoms of jet lag I felt were tiredness and an inability to sleep past 4:00 in the morning, neither of which lasted long. Coming home, I feel sick, impaired and totally out of it. Although I did go for a 90 minute walk with Amy today and I think being in the fresh air helped. I’m totally exhausted right now, but I no longer feel like I’ve been run over. So perhaps tomorrow I’ll feel a bit more normal. A friend pointed out to me today that I really haven’t been home that long, so it’s no wonder I still feel like crap.

I arrived home in one piece. The flight from Frankfurt to Vancouver was long and fairly boring, but I didn’t feel nearly as bad as I did on the Riyadh-Frankfurt flight, so that was good. I didn’t have anyone sitting beside me, which makes a huge difference, and I managed to sleep quite comfortably for a couple of hours. Unfortunately a good number of the movies available on their entertainment system were really choppy, so I couldn’t watch them. Hence the boring factor. I am not embarrassed to admit that I watched an episode of Glee that featured Madonna songs, and I loved it.

We had a two hour stop-over in Vancouver which was okay — got to go in the Air Canada lounge. I also got a chai tea latte from Starbucks, which totally treated me right.

Greg and the kids were at the airport to meet me, and it was so great to see their smiling faces as I got off the plane, and feel their hugs. They chattered on during the ride home and I managed to give them a decent amount of attention (I think), even though all I wanted was a bed. I forced myself to stay up until Amy’s bedtime. I barely got through three books with her, then I lay down beside her to sing. In five minutes of songs, I fell asleep three times. She kept saying “Mummy, why are you stopping?”. I just couldn’t stay awake.

I had promised Elliot I’d read his books as well, but I was done for the night. I have never been that tired. I asked him if he would mind if Greg read his books, and he took one look at me and said, “that’s okay, Mummy, you look really tired”. What a sweet boy.

I slept for 11 hours with a brief wake up call at 3:00 to help Amy pee. I’ve felt pretty gross all day (head-achy and light-headed) and I’m looking forward to another good night’s sleep — drug induced if I have to. I hate this groggy feeling and I hope it goes away soon.

But it’s certainly wonderful to be home.

Writing this from the Frankfurt airport. The flight from Riyadh to Frankfurt was a brutal one for me. It left at 12:50 am (which is not a great time to start your 30 hour trip home). I took an Ativan but hardly slept at all. I was hot, tired, nauseous and squished. I have a window seat for the Frankfurt to Vancouver trip so I’m hoping that helps the nausea. Thank goodness for movies — I watched “Friends with Benefits” and “Thor”. Both were good, although I’m pretty sure my judgement was impaired.

We landed, had a shower and I had an hour’s sleep in the lounge. We have a 6.5 hour layover so there’s plenty of time. I wish I’d slept longer but I woke up needing to pee urgently. Plus I was cold. So I’ve been sitting here for the last couple of hours doing my expenses, drinking luke warm tea and generally feeling sorry for myself. I’m debating lying down again but I think I’d have to set an alarm to wake myself up and I think I’d feel worse afterward. I feel like a zombie, and I’m crossing my fingers that I can sleep on the next leg.

I think I’ll go sit on a couch and veg.

Today is my last day in Saudi. It’s almost 6:00 pm here, and our flight leaves at 12:50 am. It’s going to be a long journey home.

When I was asked if I wanted to come here, my initial reaction (in my head) was a firm no. Travelling long distances on planes is in general outside my comfort zone, let alone going to a country where women are required to cover up, not allowed to do things which I take for granted, and can be charged with prostitution simply by going to dinner with a man they are not related to. But I know myself well enough to not answer right away. I said I’d think about it.

I talked to Greg and he was supportive, I talked to my mother and she was a bit freaked out, and then I talked to my sister and that was the tipping point. I was already entertaining the idea, as despite my general hesitancy in trying new and different things, I do recognize that I need to push myself at times. I think the only fear I had that I felt was rational was fear for my safety. And once I talked to my sister and her husband (who are avid, educated travellers and who would not encourage me to go anywhere unsafe), I realized that I was going to say yes. They were so excited for me, even envious. I knew I couldn’t pass up this opportunity.

I have only been in the country for 14 days and I know I experienced a very tiny part of what is Saudi, but I feel blessed for having experienced what I did, both from a cultural perspective and from a pure enjoyment perspective. I have no regrets, and being here may have opened the door to me entertaining further travel in the future, with my family. Obviously not here, and probably nowhere near the Middle East, but in doing this, I realize that seeing other parts of our world is an amazing experience, and one that should not be omitted simply because Greg and I happen to be nervous travellers.

I will be blogging about my trip in the coming days…not sure how it’s going to play out because I’m going to be doing a mix of things: sharing emails I sent to my family, posting entries I wrote while I was here and creating new entries about stuff I’ve missed. The presentation may be a bit awkward, but I want to get it down. So bear with me.